Mother of Eight Speaks Out Against Back-to-School Culture

Clear Facts

• A mother of eight children shares concerns about popular back-to-school social media trends that celebrate sending children away
• Studies show 57% of parents feel happy about school returning but also experience guilt, while 67% believe summer break is too long
• The author argues children are perceptive and notice when parents seem overly eager to send them away

As summer draws to a close and another school year approaches, one mother is speaking out against a troubling cultural trend. Summer represents the best season for family togetherness—a time spent camping, visiting lakes, taking weekend trips, and enjoying precious moments together. For a mother of eight whose oldest is already in college, she understands how quickly time passes and how fleeting these years truly are.

While back-to-school season brings excitement, it also carries a bittersweet quality. The joy of watching children grow into the next stage of life is balanced by the feeling that most of August feels like the Sunday before school starts.

Raising children is undeniably hard, and feeling some relief when structure returns is understandable. However, parents should be thoughtful about the message children receive in how we celebrate this transition.

Scrolling through social media this time of year reveals meme after meme of parents—usually mothers—who appear thrilled the school year is starting because it means shipping their kids off to someone else five days a week. Photos of moms in robes on their doorstep holding glasses of wine flood timelines everywhere.

Children notice when parents seem overly eager to send them away. They remember whether their presence was treated as a burden or a gift. They hear when their parents express elation about sending them elsewhere for hours every day. Kids are far more perceptive than adults give them credit for. Even if all the back-to-school jubilation is meant in jest, deep down they understand they represent some undue burden to their parents.

Conflicting emotions are common, and parents shouldn’t beat themselves up over them. A study of 2,000 parents revealed 57% were happy about their kids returning to school but also felt guilty about it. Yet a different study showed 67% of parents thought summer break was too long.

Parents need breaks, especially from the endless snack requests and demands of kids over the summer. No parent should be shamed for taking care of themselves in order to be a better parent for their children. Yet that’s not what back-to-school season has become. It has transformed into a time when parents can thrillingly announce to the world that they are so happy to dump their kids at school and make them someone else’s problem.

In a culture that has so devalued the family and children, this isn’t surprising but it is disheartening. These kinds of posts once seemed funny until deeper consideration revealed their true impact. We only have so much time with our kids until they move out, go to college, and have lives of their own. Pride in watching children begin a new school year and excitement for what they’ll learn and who they’ll become is natural. But sadness should also accompany summer’s end because having them home is a blessing—the memories, the slow mornings, the time together, and the little moments that pass far too quickly all matter.

Parenting is hard and no one could ever be fully prepared for it, no matter how many books they read or other parents they consult. The responsibility on parents’ plates can easily become overwhelming. Humans make decisions based on their priorities—that’s what it all comes down to. Faith, marriage, kids, work, and hobbies all vie for the top spot and hard decisions must be made every day, but if those priorities are properly ordered, choosing the right thing becomes much easier.

This isn’t a suggestion that every parent homeschool or drop everything to spend 24 hours a day catering to their kids. Rather, our children are incredible gifts and we should not be so anxious to shove them out the door and onto the school bus for eight hours a day for nine or ten months of the year. Get involved in your child’s school. Coach their rec team. Invite their friends for a movie night, ice cream, or pizza making party at your house. Go on a hike with your kids and their friends. Be present. Put your phone down. Ask questions. Say ‘yes’ more.

We only have one life. Our kids are only young once and they see everything. Mistakes as a parent are inevitable, but valuing the time we have with our children is one mistake worth the hardest effort to avoid.

So yes, celebrate back-to-school season. Just make sure your children know they are loved, wanted, and deeply missed when they’re away.

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